Not that I am looking for applause or fame, but certainly for friends with whom I can share my thoughts, opinions, feelings, emotions and so much more. The purpose of this blog is to let people know that no matter what we may be experiencing,
"WE ARE NOT ALONE".
My Unspoken Words that were always trapped deep down inside me often haunted me, disturbed me and made me feel insecure and different. Being a quiet and shy child I felt unsure to voice my feelings and thoughts.
Yes I lacked confidence. I always under-estimated myself while growing up. But with time I learned that under-estimating is not as bad as over-estimating. Anyway, I kept my thoughts to myself and my wandering mind, everyday wrote episodes of my life, events in my life, people in my life, places I went to, books I read and movies I viewed. I just kept it all bottled up and felt that this is how it is supposed to be. In fact, I just lived with my thoughts. They were my friends, my companions, my comforters and my very existence. I felt I think differently, I act differently, I speak differently etc. I somehow felt I had nothing in common with others. Life was very different from what I wanted it to be.
Maybe as a child I was very demanding and imaginative. But I kept everything to myself. Never questioned, never shared, never sought opinion or advice. I was scared of being made fun of, being abandoned, or maybe catching attention. (I know, these were only childish, silly, immature feelings.)
With these tendencies, growing up was not so easy for me. I matured mentally but lacked confidence all along. Often, I was clumsy, maybe weird in some way, nervous most of the time and tongue-tied when spoken to. I just did not know HOW to voice my thoughts across. WORDS, tons of them lay heaped up inside me. I was not very social and even if I happen to socialize, I was very selective, I was confined to my "type" only.
Maybe they singled me out or I singled them out. My type - yes the type who are quiet, hard to talk, only spoke when spoken to, was restricted in words. But sometimes I surprised myself by interacting with someone from time to time, (very seldom), someone who related to my thinking, who finally understood me, or maybe those were the ones who understood everyone and I just happen to feel flattered that someone finally understands me. Anyway, let us move on.
So, what I want to share and why. Yes now I feel ready, with years of experience, my thoughts, my UNSPOKEN WORDS with you. My unspoken words today are being forced out of me by my courage that I have gathered over the years. Why do I want to share it now? You will know this as you keep reading my blog. It will unveil my reasons to share what I held on to all along.....................!
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