You are undergoing difficulties and people come to know that you are suffering. Here is what be ready to face:
Complaints and more complaints. They want to know why you did not tell them? Why you concealed from them? Why they had to hear it from other people and not from you? You are blamed for suffering and not announcing it. You are held responsible for not bragging about it. :-(
Now be ready to hear their problems and tragedies that they had faced at some point of their life. They faced more problems than you. Their problems were more serious. How much they suffered. How they were treated. How they almost died. And a lot more...........................!
Eventually they have now come with a conclusion. You should suffer as much as they suffered. There are a lot of other people suffering too. To add salt to wound, they will now give you some advises of how to suffer silently. How difficult life is. Nothing is easy nowadays.
Be prepared to hear what they finally have to say :
There is nothing they can do about it.
Nothing can be done about it.
Just continue to live with your problems.
They are so sorry about it.
It all happens!
Outcome : Problems remain unsolved while you were pushed further into more misery and humiliation
IS THIS SYMPATHY????
A real dilemma indeed! Now you are in a situation, a serious one, a critical one, a helpless one! So what should one do now? Should we tell others or maintain silence?
Step No.1
If you just happen to keep it to yourself, then you are blasted with a series of attacks for keeping quiet. Tall claims of friends and folks that if only they knew, they would have fixed the problem and "helped."
Step No. 2
The minute you tell them honestly about your situation, they walk away silently. They abandon you. They leave you in darkness to face your problems alone. They sa
y it is too late now. There is nothing they can do.
What to do? It is a puzzle. Should we tell them or not.
Solution : Do not say. Those who want to help will find out anyway and do what needs to be done. Those who do not want to help, will not even if they are the first one you approach for help.
Above all : Learn to solve your own problem!
Ever heard of Snow birds? Yes they always move away to favorable climate, that which suits them! The very place that they resided, they abandon it because the weather turns sour and move away to some place, some unknown land where the weather is pleasant. But guess what? Do they dwell there for long? No, they do not. They just keep moving wherever it is pleasant, gorgeous, sunny, bright. They do not like task, they like to bask.
But have you heard about Snow friends? They share similar traits. They will leave you when you are in darkness, abandon you with your problems, distance themselves when you really need them and fly away elsewhere favorable to show their friendship and loyalty. Soon as they feel any kind of heat, they take flight to some other place to show new friendship and loyalty.
But do not get sad, be glad. They will come back to you soon as they get the news that you are all better now! Now is the time they will show up to show their great friendship and loyalty once again.
This is the trick they have been playing for long and will continue to do so as long as they keep finding better and better climate and simple friends who do not understand their tricks.
But, not for long! Nothing goes on forever. They get tired of their own tricks when they discover no place to go now. Now it is their turn. They are discovered, covered with shame, exposed of their tricks, abandoned, discarded, isolated.
No one wants such a friend because they are no friend. They never were and can never be with such traits. Such people are their own enemies.
Snow birds move away to favorable climates because they are birds (animals). We cannot adopt their habit in our friendship.
Friends are forever no matter whatsoever.
Yes! We are talking about :
m-i-s-u-n-d-e-r-s-t-a-n-d-i-n-g...................a big, long, meaningless, useless, senseless word. Often wonder why was it ever created. This twisted word twists people apart by sneaking between them for little or no reason at all. Whosoever invented this word is an enemy of love, understanding and friendship.
Here is how it starts! It creeps in noiselessly. As soon as it squeezes in, it starts growing, expanding and begins to push people apart. It weakens the foundation of relationship, tears down walls of friendship and over-reaches itself and becomes a prefix of understanding and turns it into misunderstanding, changing its meaning and value upside down.
How to chase it away and get back to understanding? That is a good question!
Crush it, kill it, overpower it, overcome it by...........overlooking. Yes, look the other way and see the brighter aspects. You will find that misunderstanding did not/could not do a good job like it wanted to. It did cause damage but look now....the damage has gone by the mere use of maturity and the act of forgiveness.
Misunderstanding is no match to compromise. While misunderstanding destroys, compromise restores. There you go.......everything is back to normal with renewed effort.
Let us just say, "It all happens!" None of us are perfect but if our bond is perfect, we can survive all misgivings, misunderstandings, mismanagement etc. Let us compromise to move on and not be held back by flimsy reasons for people who matters to us and are hard to leave.
In Fair or Foul weather
True friends stay together
Hardship is a strange journey, a journey with multiple twists and turns, where surprise awaits you at every furlong or so. It has bumps, hurdles, ramps, downhill and a lot more but what is most surprising of all is how some people distance themselves because of your situation while some move forward, FOR THE SAME REASON. Truly amazing!
Some true friends and kith and kin' abandon you because they think of you as nothing else other than a burden or problem, while others walk into your life even though they can do nothing but they do not want to leave you alone and want to share your burden and problem. They understand your pain!
All along we thought they were our well-wishers and friends but.............! While others, just get a hint of your condition and they vow never to leave you till you are okay.
So here is a message:
People who care for you, will always be there for you, NO MATTER WHAT! If they are not with you, they never were.
Hello there!
Appreciation letters are for kind and helpful people but this one is an unusual letter of gratitude. It will amaze you. So let us get started!
Thank you for not helping me. You saved me the dishonor of being helped by a person like you. In your endeavor to avoid me, you helped me to know you better and along with it you also assisted me to know people of your kind. As I scratched down your mask, I learnt an important lesson from an old proverb, "All that glitters, is not gold!" Your cruel attitude has taught me cautiousness, self-respect and wisdom to face people of your demeanor.
Above all, a very valuable lesson I have learnt is 'how to be nice' as well as 'why to be nice.' Being nice is important otherwise I will be making people suffer just like you do.
I do not want to be like you for now I know how small I will be and one day I will fall in my own eyes and will live with nothing, but regrets.
I could go on and on, but I have no intention or desire on wasting time on people of your category. So let me say a hasty bye to you.
Bye for now and forever,
Someone who do not want to be like 'you.'
Why didn't you tell me? How come I don't know? You have been going through all this and you did not tell me? ......are some of the common, mediocre and stereotype statements used by people to show their "sympathy", followed by empty promises and a lot more. But, everything stops right there, once the information is gathered. That is the level of curiosity.
So, what is the next level? Does the help come? Did they ever have any intention, whatsoever, to aid, assist, rescue etc. "NO!" All they wanted was something up their sleeve so that they can be sneaky and share with others.
Sharing information with such people is like inviting them to destroy you. They now have the freedom to tarnish your image 'at your own cost.' Look how they started and you will be shocked to see how it will all end.
Best remedy is to be quiet and patient and deal with your problems by yourself rather than making yourself further miserable.
If only I knew now is more apparent. If only they knew, they would have so much to talk about, so much blackmail you and so much to keep busy with! Alas!
Do not play with people's emotions. They are already dealing with a lot. Do not add to it if you cannot subtract from it.
