Advices on "How to advice (others)."

How to advice "Others"? Yeah, I know, so easy right?  Easy as Pie! Can't wait to get started when it comes to advising others.   We have tons of advices that we are just waiting anxiously to release and unleash.  Wait a Minute!  Sometimes we just cannot wait and start advising without being asked.  Yes, unwanted advices!  But imagine the pride and pleasure we draw from it!  Wow! 

Let's get started.  To begin with, let us try with using ourselves as the model.  Let us ask what kind of advices would we like,  whether we would like to be advised without being asked for and whether we would like to hear insane and impractical advice?    Should we continue with our advice even if the person is not listening, or even getting bored?  

For once, let us keep aside the word,  'advice,' and go for a milder term and call it "suggestions," which implies that we may be wrong or ignorantly immature.  Which is okay because not every time are we able to grasp the situations or know the real person seeking a little help.  

Be restricted and considerate in your suggestions.  Pass on only those options which you are honestly more than willing to apply on yourself.  Suggestions should be encouraging and inspiring not depressing and deteriorating.  

Make the person feel as if there was no problem.   In fact it was just a mood swing  or misunderstanding.   Sometimes it is just part of growing up or let's just say part of life that each one of us "have" to undergo.   

Further, comfort the person and give assurance that you are there and they can count on you.  Anything that you can do, you will.  I think that sometimes that is all a miserable person wants to hear and it can make a huge difference.  

What not to Do?  Please do not advice others to have patience and courage.  It is so old fashioned and out dated.  The person is already being patient and courageous in dealing with you and your not helpful advices.  Please oh please, do not start relating your own sad and tragic story (ies), and make the person further and a lot more miserable, frustrated or depressed.

The best way to advice is to listen, just listen.  Give the person a golden chance to pour his or her heart out and feel lighter and better.  Wipe the tears away.  Put on a smile by saying you understand and care.  Say a small prayer.  Let the person know that you will always be there. 

When giving advice or suggestions,  we should not forget it is about them and it is they who matter.  Let us not make it about ourselves and seize it as an opportunity to praise ourselves and a chance to narrate our own stories.  That is not going to help.

It is about helping not ruining. If you cannot help just be a passive listener and comforter, that's helping!