COMFORTER vs CONFRONTER

Today, while values have changed so has styles, thinking and approaches. When approached by people with  problems, instead of being a comfort, the latest trend is to confront.  

Here is what happens.  People call on us with their problems. They have hardly started to talk, instead of comforting them, we confront them by telling them : 
-    How good we are and how bad they are.  
-    How talented we are and how useless they      are.
-    How fortunate we are and how 
     unfortunate they are

There is another way we solve problems:
- Start narrating our own sad stories
- Start complaining how we were treated
- Start praising how we were exception to
  have survived.

Does this SOLVE any problem.  I don't think so.  When someone is in problem, it is not about us, it is about them.  All that they are looking for is sympathy, advise, help and comfort not confrontation.
- Just listen to them patiently.  They need 
  someone to hear them.
- Encourage them and compliment them
- Do not talk at all about yourself, your
   experiences and feelings.  You are suppose
  to give sympathy not look for sympathy.
- Finally, tell them that you believe in them
   and you are there for them.

- Of course, do not forget to DO for them 
  whatsoever you can. 

That is all they want to hear.  It will make a lot of difference.  If you cannot help, do not make them further miserable.  Please do not confront.  This is help itself.